Friday, April 10, 2009

Ah , The Humility Of It All !!

 

It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the boys thusly: "Lads, I'm here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, don't step on any of the ducks or you'll be punished for eternity. Sean went in first and was amazed to see that the entire landscape was encompassed by ducks, and try as he might, sure enough he stepped on one. He was immediately joined by one of the homliest colleens he'd ever laid eyes on, and she said,"Well love, you stepped on a duck and now we're together for all time."And of course the exact same thing happened to Michael only his companion was even the worse for wear. By this time Tim was absolutely terrified. And he gingerly managed to make it most of the way across the courtyard  without stepping on a single duck. Suddenly, his arm was taken by a young lass. Tim looked over and beheld the most beautiful, graceful, blue-eyed woman he'd ever seen in all his life. He gasped, "I don't understand it!" The young beauty answered, "Well I'm sure I don't either, I was walking along minding my own business, when all of a sudden I stepped on a duck."

 

HAPPY EASTER TO ONE AND ALL !!   AND WATCH OUT FOR DUCKS !!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Snicker , snicker.... cough , cough !!

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air.
    "Oh my god, I am sooo sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back into place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you."
    They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to breakfast the next morning. When he arrives the next morning, she has cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!!
    "You know, you are the perfect woman.  Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
    "No, she replies...

Wait for it...
It's coming..........
The suspense is killing you ....

"You just happened to catch my eye."